Whenever people my age start talking about “re-inventing” themselves and ask how I am doing this, I start to get a little clammy. The sweaty palms come about because to me that word implies that there is so much wrong with me that I have to scrub the old me and come up with a new one. Not only does that make me feel like maybe my first 60 years wasn’t worth much if I am being asked to get rid of it but secondly, I’ve worked hard on my journey and don’t want to just trash it lock, stock and barrel. The truth is, I’m not perfect but there’s a lot of me that I like and I’d prefer to think of this chapter not as a “re’invention” but as part of the continual self improvement that has been my modis operandis my whole life.
When the big 6-0 came around I didn’t look at the looming day with terror or dread. I looked at it as a chance to grow and that process began with an honest look at myself. I took my time in this process. Quite frankly, it takes time to both be honest and go deep and you just can’t rush it.
STEP 1: DEFINE YOUR PILLARS
Everyone’s process will be different. I am a strategist so began with identifying what the pillars of aging were– . i.e. the core categories that would contribute to my well-being. I determined they are:
- Physical
- Emotional
- Relational
- Cognitive
- Spiritual
STEP 2: WRITE A MISSION STATEMENT AND FOR THIS STAGE OF YOUR LIFE
As part of this self-discovery exercise I also decided to write a mission statement for my later years that would answer what would a successful life look like for me? I admit that like everyone else on the ChatGTP bandwagon, I did spend a moment GTPing what a good mission statement for a woman over 60 would look like. Sadly, there is no substitute for self-reflection. No amount of AI can replace what is in the depths of our soul, the very center of who we are. Only time, fearlessness and honesty can do that.
Your mission statement isn’t something to be hung on your refrigerator- that will just annoy everyone around you. Much of the benefit of a mission statement is right in the creating of it. Yes, it’s great to pull out and look at to see if how you are spending your time is still in sync with your ultimate goal but there’s no need to have it lurking in everyone’s face.
STEP 3: AN HONEST ASSESSMENT
With my mission statement in hand, I went back to each of my pillars and wrote down what I was doing in each of them that supported the mission. Beyond listing the activity, I took some time to reflect on my strengths and opportunities to grow in each of them. One of the discoveries that I had unconsciously felt but not spent time really analyzing was that I was spending an inordinate amount of time in one pillar and placing very little energy in another. And while for myself I don’t feel that each pillar has to be equally represented by the time spent, I do believe there are some minimum levels that I shouldn’t fall under.
Another learning in my assessment was that I was a little too settled in my daily patterns and priorities and not leaving enough space for the unexpected, the spontaneous and the opportunities that often lead to something wonderful and new to make itself known.
This assessment identified two areas that I wanted to address in my current years as part of the continuous improvement plan
STEP 4: MAKE A PLAN
As my dance instructor always says, “if you want a different outcome you have to do something different”. I took these words to heart as I continued through my life exercise. Most important, I wanted to make sure that any changes I made in my mindset and activities would strengthen my overall mission and goals—I didn’t want to just make changes without some intentionality behind it. And I wanted to take the information I had learned through my assessment and determine what activities needed to go, what needed to be added in and if there were attitudes and mindsets that needed adjustment.
What my plan ended up looking like had these fundamental changes that I trusted would bring me to somewhere not just different but a closer to the person that I was born to be:
- Make sure the majority of activities really feed into my ultimate mission
- Put more free time into my day and be a little less scheduled to be able to take advantage of the unexpected and add in new things
- Add in some new activities and experiences that will re-ignite my curiosity and allow me to learn new things, provide new information to broaden opinions and viewpoints
HAVE THE RIGHT ATTITUDE
Going into your aging years and even going through the process of how you are going to approach these years can be highly influenced by your mindset and attitude. Being positive, eager and realistic as you take control and put some reflection and planning into your approach to these years will affect what you envision.
For me, much of my life is sports oriented and I have had to change up my sport of choice as I age—from long distance running to team tennis to ballroom dance. Each decade I come to grips with the fact that my body can’t do what it did in the previous ten years and that it’s time to find something different that I will find fun and challenging.
Whatever you want to call it- refining, re-inventing, re-envisioning as you age, it comes down to two keys for me
HAVE A POSITIVE AND EAGER MINDSET