How You Say What You Say

I have a client who, when he can’t reach me by phone, leaves me a text. Two words. “Call me.” If I don’t call fast enough, the message gets sent again. Phones me, then texts the two words again. It’s like clockwork. Now, you’d think by now—since this isn’t a client I just met—I’d be used to the knee-jerk panic I feel when I see those words. But I’m not. I’m really, really not.

Every time I read “Call me,” my brain automatically thinks,“ This is it. I’m in trouble.” But here’s the thing—it’s never actually about me. No, it’s just a client with a calendar too crowded and a mind too overstuffed to write something softer, like: “Hi, when you have a chance, can you give me a call?” And in today’s world, with a dozen devices pinging messages and emails at once, it’s so easy to read something too quickly—and misread it entirely. And equally easy to shoot off a response that’s not only hastily written, but completely devoid of the appropriate tone (you know, the whole “How do I mean this vs. how will they read it?” dilemma).

Then, of course, there’s the ever-dreaded moment you send an email to the wrong person. A moment that makes you wish you’d lived by that one tiny but crucial rule: only say or write something if you’re okay with the person it’s about reading or hearing it.

We all know words have power. “Watch what you say,” our mothers told us, the ones who also warned us that words are like toothpaste—you squeeze them out, and you can’t get them back in. It’s all true. Sometimes things slip out of our mouths faster than our brains can catch up, but when it comes to what we write, there’s really no excuse for sending something that doesn’t say exactly what we mean.

So here’s a friendly little reminder: that whole “measure twice, cut once” adage—perfect for sewing, and equally perfect for the way we write. A little extra thought before hitting send never hurt anyone.