Poking the Bear

In the middle of a 24-hour turnaround trip, I found myself observing a wide variety of airport and airplane behaviors. My favorite, by far, occurred in the waiting area before boarding a 1 p.m. flight. Every seat was filled, a baby was screaming in the background, and, just to add to the charm, the airline staffer casually announced that we’d be delayed in boarding because the airplane was “extra dirty” and they wanted it to be “buttoned up” for us. As if that explanation wasn’t odd enough, I couldn’t help but wonder if the airline had just made up a new reason for delay—one that was more “realistic” than the usual mechanical issue or weather delay.

I was seated next to a young woman, probably in her mid-twenties, who had her headphones on and was deeply absorbed in her work on her computer. On the other side, one seat over, a man’s self-help motivational video suddenly blasted through the air. I assumed he would adjust the sound any second, but, no, the volume stayed at full blast. Minutes passed. And still nothing. I looked over at the young woman beside me. She glanced at the screen, turned back to me, and said, “WOW.”

“Yes, ” I replied, “I’m just trying to decide if I should say something. It’s always fascinating how people respond to things like this. I feel tempted to talk to him about the volume.”

“Oh, I hate controversy,” she said, as if the word itself made her break out in hives. “I would never, ever say anything.”

“Well, that settles it,” I said, “we must see if he can learn some manners today.”

I took a deep breath and gave it a go. “Sir… Sir… Sir… Sir?” After a few attempts, he finally dragged his eyes away from the screen, visibly irritated that I was interrupting his “motivational moment.” I pointed to his phone. “Do you think it would be possible to turn that down a bit?”

For a brief moment, he looked at me like I had asked him to rearrange the stars. I braced myself for a defensive snark, but instead, he flicked the phone off with a sharp motion and said, “There. It’s off.” His tone was sarcastic but not rude—more like an “Of course I was going to do that” kind of statement.

“Thank you,” I said, giving him a nod. “I really appreciate it.”

The young woman beside me looked at me in awe. “That was so brave,” she said, almost reverently.

I shrugged. “It wasn’t bravery,” I explained. “Just shot some decompression space and understanding into the heat of it.”

We just simply can’t let people get away with things that aren’t right – and we can do it by killing them with kindness.